Utah Jazz

I have to admit, since the Stockton and Malone era, I haven't watched the Jazz as often. It may also have something to do with the fact that I'm older, more mature, married with children, and don't have as much time for basketball and other sports. Regardless of all that, I was able to watch part of the game tonight on the Internet using a program that let me watch a feed of the game from China. You see, I decided to downgrade my satellite TV to the $19.99 family package and TNT isn't included in that package. About one hour into the game I started googling frantically for search terms like "TNT on Internet", "NBA on Internet". I finally found what I was looking for and was able to catch the 2nd quarter. At halftime my connection decided to poop out and I was never able to get a feed again.

What I did see of the game, it looked like they were having fun. I love to watch The Jazz pass the ball around when they're on offence and make the opposing defense run and scurry. The way The Jazz pass the ball is almost artistic in a way. Back in the Stockton and Malone era you'd see the pick-and-roll all the time and it was usually a pass from Stockton to Malone and a score, or if Malone was covered he'd pass it back out, but it was rare to see more than about two or three passes. With this 2006-2007 Utah Jazz you'll see about 5, 6, 7, or 8 passes on offense. The Jazz also run a faster offense, their players are younger than the old Stockton and Malone teams.

Anyway, I'm just glad the Jazz beat Houston and will go to the next round against the Golden State Warriors. By the way, the Warriors are my new second favorite team by shear virtue of them beating Mark Cuban's team, the Dairy Queen Mavericks. I'm also glad that the games will be on ABC. I'm predicting a Jazz win over the Warriors and a Phoenix win over San Antonio. I don't think the Jazz can get past either Phoenix or San Antonio, however. The Jazz should have beat Houston in 5, instead they dragged it out to seven games. The upside is that the Jazz are relatively young and a 7 game series wont take as huge a toll as it would on the Stockton and Malone teams.

My prediction for the NBA finals is Phoenix from the West and Detroit from the East. But wouldn't it be cool to have a Jazz/Bulls rematch?


The next nice story tonight was RSL's 3-3 tie against the New York Red Bulls with new Head Coach, Jason Kreiss at the helm. Yeah, it wasn't a win, but New York is the best team in the league and hasn't given up a single goal this season, until tonight. I was also happy to see, former RSL player, Clint Mathis score two goals against his old mates. Hopefully Clint's found his game again. Maybe Mathis just does better in that kind of environment. RSL has Colorado on Thursday in Denver and I'm predicting 3 Points (a win) for RSL.

Panquecas

Panquecas or Crêpes
1 cup flour

1 1/2 cup milk

2 eggs

1 tbsp oil

1/2 tsp salt

Put all ingredients in blender and and beat until smooth. Cook as you would for crêpes.

Filling
Use your favorite vegetarian filling, the chicken filling for Brazilian chicken pie or this ground beef filling:

1 lb very lean ground beef

1 large onion, finely chopped

2 cloves garlic, minced

fresh cilantro, finely chopped (if you can't find cilantro, use green onions and parsley)

oregano to taste

2 large hard-boiled eggs, chopped into small pieces

10-12 pitted green olives

Sauté onions and garlic in olive oil. Add ground beef, cilantro and oregano and cook until brown. It should be rather dry, not very much liquid at all. Remove from heat. Add olives and chopped eggs.

Making the panquecas
Fill each panqueca with this mixture and roll it up. Put panquecas together in a large Pyrex. Cover with tomato sauce, sprinkle with grated parmesan cheese, and warm in oven or microwave. Serve piping hot with white rice and green salad.

PHP and MySQL

For about the last 2 months or so I've been learning PHP and MySQL to create server side scripting for Web sites with a database backend. Let me just say that this has been very fun and challenging at the same time. I have written a quiz that tracks who takes the quiz and what their answers are. I have written a Web crawler that will crawl a site for Hyperlinks and put them onto the Web page (useful if you want to start a search engine or if you're harvesting links for a database). I wanted to get started with JSP with a Tomcat Web Server but I've been having issues with it. Someone at school suggested that I try PHP. I found a great book called "Build Your Own Database Driven Website Using PHP and MySQL" by Kevin Yank. It can be found at http://www.sitepoint.com/books/phpmysql1/

Here is the code for my Web Crawler:

/
<html>
<head><title>Web Crawler</title></head>
<body>
<form id="form1" method="post" action="">
     <label>URL:
     <input name="url" type="text" id="url" value="<?php $url; ?>" size="65" maxlength="255" />
     </label>
     <br />
     <br />
     <label>
     <input type="submit" name="Submit" value="Submit" />
     </label>
     <label>
     <input name="Reset" type="reset" id="Reset" value="Reset" />
     </label>
     <br />
</form>
</body>
</html>
<?php
if (isset($_POST['url'])) {
$url = $_POST['url'];
$f = @fopen($url,"r");
while( $buf = fgets($f,1024) )
{
   $buf = fgets($f, 4096);
   preg_match_all("/<\s*a\s+[^>]*href\s*=\s*[\"']?([^\"' >]+)[\"' >]/isU",$buf,$words);
   for( $i = 0; $words[$i]; $i++ )
   {
      for( $j = 0; $words[$i][$j]; $j++ )
      {
        $cur_word = strtolower($words[$i][$j]);
      print "$cur_word<br>";
   }
  }
 }
}
?>

Battlefield 2142 Screenshots

It's 2:19 in the freaking morning. Here are some screenshots in slide show format. Good night:

School's PTA Web site hit by scam 'phishing' for data

I think I know one of the guys that got quoted in this news article. I'm not sure, but I think he's related to me. :)

http://deseretnews.com/dn/view/1%2C1249%2C660191694%2C00.html

School's PTA Web site hit by scam 'phishing' for data

Bank logo posted by hackers asked for personal information
By Laura Hancock
Deseret Morning News
EAGLE MOUNTAIN — A Web site formerly used by Pony Express Elementary's PTA became entangled in a phishing scam.
Sometime recently, hackers got access to software that parent Gerald Banks used for www.ponyexpresselementary.org. The hackers posted on the site the logo for Regions Bank, the nation's eighth largest, with offices in 16 states from Florida to Iowa but none in Utah.
"They were trying to get your name, your Social Security number, your Visa debit card number, just as much personal and financial information as they could," said Roger Douglass, another Pony Express parent who spotted the scheme because he works for Blue Coat Systems, a Web security company in Draper.
Douglass routinely looks for phishing schemes at work and found the scheme involving Pony Express Elementary on Wednesday when visiting phishtank.com, an online community where people voluntarily post Web sites they believe have been overtaken by phishers.

The scheme probably was posted on phishtank.com after a member of the Web community received a spam e-mail from people claiming to be bank officials, visited the Pony Express site and found what he perceived was a scam, Douglass said.
"And I recognized it because it's my daughter's elementary school," Douglass said. "So that's kind of what made me go, 'Whoa, wait a second ..."'
Douglass called Banks, who said by Wednesday afternoon he had already taken down www.ponyexpresselementary.org, after receiving notifications about the scheme from the Alpine School District and XMission, the Web site's host.
PTA leaders used the site last year to advertise events at the Eagle Mountain school. It has not been updated since then, Banks said.
"We monitor for these sites constantly, and whenever we see them we act as quickly as possible to contact our customers and even non-customers who might be fooled into entering personal information," said Rick Swagler, spokesman for Regions Bank.
Swagler said such schemes are typically reported to the federal government.
"The bank will never send you an e-mail asking you for personal information or asking you to update information," Swagler said.
The banking industry works together to try to curb phishers.
According to the American Bankers Association, 25,816 phishing Web sites were discovered in November, an increase from previous months.

New host

I really like Blogger.com/Blogspot.com but I have my own domain. When I figured out that my host supports PHP script and MySQL database I figured that it was probably time to start hosting my blog there since I'm paying for 5 gigs of space and only use about 100 Megs of it. I am also going to be working on an open source project that requires me to use PHP and MySQL and it might be a good time to start learning PHP and practicing up on MySQL. PHP seems pretty straight forward, it's a scripting language which means that it's not really a programming language but it can be used to make logical decisions and parse data that is fed to it from a data base or a user. Most likely what I will be using it for on my site is Web-based forms which allow a user to input their information. I will eventually have a Web-based storefront and start selling my kids online. I'M ONLY KIDDING, PLEASE QUIT CALLING DCFS ALREADY!

Happy 95th Birthday Grandpa!

My Grandpa Doc was born January 31, 1912, a little bit more than 3 month before the Titanic set sail and ran into an iceberg, five years before the USA entered World War I (not World War II). My grandfather lived through the Great Depression (the biggest oxymoron in our languge, there was nothing great about it.) My grandpa taught me how to golf and how to swear, for hellsakes. My grandpa also taught me the value of a dollar, of course he taught me the value of a 1942 dollar and not a 1982 dollar, but that's beside the point. My grandpa taught me to eat beans and love it. He never perfected them and I thought the only good beans were the kind you buy in a can (because they were soft) until I went to Brazil and discovered that the trick is to put them in a pressure cooker and season them with onions and bay leaves.

My grandpa passed away 6 years ago and Salt Lake City has been less colorful ever since. There's nobody left to tell ethnic jokes and lawyer jokes. He was the last politically incorrect person I knew. He'd go to a restaurant and call the waitress, "honey" or "sweetheart". He'd refer to women as gals. Yeah, that's sexist, and I wont repeat any of it. The ethnic jokes are better off dead too and I should have never laughed at them. But my grandpa was one funny sunuvabitch!

What if I were an ad executive?

It might go something like this:



I created this image using a photo of BooKoo and a freeware program called The Gimp version 2.2.13

Fast Food Franchise Owners

I used to work for a fast food franchise somewhere in a college town in Northern Utah. I really don't want to say what the company is or who the owner is because the people that read this blog on a regular basis will know who I'm talking about anyway.

One of the benefits (downsides) to having kids is that you get to watch lots of cartoons. Mr. G's (the son I named and older version of this blog after) favorite cartoon is "Spongebob Square Pants". Spongebob's boss is Mr. Eugene Krabs. Mr. Krabs favorite expressions are, "I like money." and "The money is always right." If Mr. Krabs were being shot at and his daughter was on one side of the room and a penny were on the other side of the room. He would risk his life to save the penny first and his daughter second. In the Spongebob movie, Mr. Krabs sees King Neptune coming to his restaurant and marks up his sandwiches to the $100 range.

The owner of the fast food franchise where I worked found out that another franchise for the same chain was charging more for their fries. Instead of using the opportunity to advertise that his price was lower, he used to opportunity to raise the price on his own fries. He required all of us to charge .10 cents for any extra items that didn't already come on the sandwich. For example, one sandwich didn't come with pickles, but a customer asked for pickles. I tried to charge the customer an extra 10 cents as I had been instructed and got into an argument with the customer. Instead of defending me, the owner told the customer what a S.O.B. I was and refunded his .10 cents. Part of the owner's franchise agreement with the chain was that his employees were required to give out two packets of free condiments with every sandwich sold. He found out how much this was costing him and told us only to give them out if the customers asked for them. How many times have you gone to a fast food place and forgot to ask for the ketchup? Some of these places are exactly the same, they don't give it out unless you ask. Customers get in the habit of the condiments being placed in the bag without having to ask. When a cheapskate owner decides that he's going to save money by cutting back on the condiments all it does is make customers angry and not want to come back.

Anyway, in honor of my former employer, I have used The Gimp to draw his likeness and post it on this blog and am declaring January 30 cheapskate franchise owner day. I used to also work in the hospitality industry and hotel franchise owners are a bunch of cheapskates too. (Okay, not all of them, just most.) Today is the day where you get to tell your kids that you're too cheap to buy a 10 pack of pencils but instead cut one pencil into 10 pieces for your kids to share. The kid that makes the most mistakes gets the eraser. Instead of throwing away that bottle of ketchup that has less than a teaspoon of ketchup left, put a little water in it and shake it up. You can do this 3 or 4 times before you have to throw the bottle away. Instead of buying a fancy gourmet pizza, go to the store and by a 91 cent Tostinos pizza and put your favorite vegetables on top of it; may I suggest the Danish blue cheese and frozen peas as toppings? It's out of this world. Instead of throwing away that bottle of maple syrup that the ants got into, tell your kids that there are two kinds of syrup in this world: creamy and crunchy. Instead of buying your kid his favorite comic book, buy him a ream of printer paper and a Bic fountain pen with the black, red, green, and blue ink and tell him to draw his own comics.

Yay, yay, yay, it's International Cheapskate Day. Sing it high, sing it loud, sing it low, sing it proud! It's International Cheapskate Day. We love you L.W.!!!

My prescription for a bad headache

Take one Rockstar and two Excedrin Tension Headache Geltabs and call me in the morning.

Peter Corroon really chaps my hide

Can I just say, I hate Peter Corroon more than any other politician in the world right now? That would include Kim Jong "mentally" Ill and that idiot in Iran. Here's a post about it from KSL's site:

"[Stadiums] are a revenue source for the community that surrounds them. The E-Center is used for events other than hockey and it brings a good amount of money into West Valley. That's why West Valley supports it. Art centers and planetariums encourage learning, learning encourages invention, invention encourages business, business encourages tax revenue. Everything is about economics. Why did you get married? Love? I don't think so. Because two people working is more economical than one and there's a tax break for married couples. Why are we fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan? Because we were attacked by terrorists on 9-11-01? Yes. And how did that effect us financially as a nation? It was one of the worst times in our economic history since the 1930s. By controlling the regions where the terrorists come out of, we also control their ability to attack us and affect our economy.

People here seem to think that soccer wont bring in money because soccer has never been popular or because they don't like it. Soccer is growing and will continue to grow. David Beckham is more well known than Michael Jordan and he now plays in our 2nd largest city, Los Angeles. Ronaldo, who plays for Real Madrid and Brazil's national team has expressed interest in playing in New York for the Red Bulls. Did Michael Jordan sell tickets for the NBA and close TV deals and make advertising revenue? HELL YEAH! Will Beckham and Ronaldo do the same? Again, HELL YEAH!

One of my art teachers at UVSC, Perry Stewart said there are two ways of looking at something, you can either look directly at the object, or look past the object. It's when you learn to look past the object that your best art comes out. I think this analogy applies here, because people are focusing on what soccer has been, not what it will become. Look through the raindrops on your windshield and you will see the road ahead. Look past the money that is being used to fund the infrastructure and see the revenue that soccer Super-Stars and the world economy will bring to Utah.

Of course that's my opinion, I could be wrong."

South Pass and William Henry Ashley

I'm reading a book about the early exploration of the American West, before and after the Louisiana purchase. One of the most significant finds by explorers was South Pass, a pass that allowed relatively easy passage over the Rocky Mountains and the Continental Divide. I don't live too far away from South Pass but was never aware of its existence or importance until reading about it.

In 1822 Ashley and business partner Andrew Henry -- a bullet maker whom he met through his gunpowder business -- posted famous advertisements in St. Louis newspapers seeking one hundred "enterprising young men . . . to ascend the river Missouri to its source, there to be employed for one, two, or three years." The men who responded to this call became known as "Ashley's Hundred." Between 1822 and 1825, Ashley and Henry's Rocky Mountain Fur Company, did several large scale fur trapping expeditions in the mountain west. Ashley's men are officially credited with the American discovery of South Pass in the winter of 1824. Ashley devised the rendezvous system in which trappers, Indians and traders would meet annually in a predetermined location to exchange furs, goods and money. His innovations in the fur trade earned Ashley a great deal of money and recognition, and helped open the western part of the continent to American expansion. In 1828 he explored present-day northern Colorado, ascending the South Platte River to the base of the Front Range, then ascending the Cache la Poudre River to the Laramie Plains and onward to the Green River.

This One Is For Troy!

Troy says that every time he sees this he thinks of me. Personally, I'd like to know what you're implying Troy. Huh? Howz bout it? Anyway, here it is, a clip from Bedazzled where he wishes to be a world class basketball player, a player that moves and jumps like Jordan, that shoots like Hornacek and is as tall as Bradley. He doesn't count on the Devil having a sense of humor. He is lacking in one thing, well at least one thing. Enjoy.

You can't beat a band like this - George Harrison, Roy Orbison, Tom Petty, Bob Dylan, and Jeff Lynne. Great song!

The revenge of Billy Ray Cyrus

Don't tell my heart, my achy breaky heart, I just don't think he'll understand, and if you tell my heart, my achy breaky heart he might just release his daughter to take revenge on the world!

Am I the only one that thinks Hannah Montana's (Miley Cyrus) music is just as crappy as her dad's awful one hit wonder?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

The return of Hanson

Can you say Mmm Bop? I knew you could.

If you're a fan of Nickelodeon, and who isn't? then you have seen the promos and ads for "The Naked Brothers Band". I think they sound like Hanson and smell like Christina Aguilera (whatever that means).

So, we see, what goes around comes around; "The Naked Brothers Band" Hanson for Generation Y (or whatever you call this generation of kids.) I already feel more stupid for posting this.

The Purina Diet

I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog........ duh!
I was feeling a bit crabby , so on impulse, I told her no, I was
starting The Purina Diet again although I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an
intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of myorifices and IV's in both arms.
Her eyes about bugged out of her head. I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.
The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy standing just behind her.
Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital.
I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a
car hit me.

I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the
door.

And now a word from our sponsor!

Thirst Rockers is a proud sponsor of the Feeble Attempts at Humor blog since 1643. Thirst Rockers, when you don't want to quench your thirst, you want to rock it.

Thirst Rockers is not a sponsor of Real Salt Lake and their name will not appear on the front of their jerseys. Thirst Rockers is also not a sponsor of NASCAR. Thirst Rockers has been found to cause priapism in laboratory rats and irregular coloring of bowel movements in bovines. Drink responsibly.

Dog wisdom

Dog wisdom

There is more truth than poetry in some of the sayings


The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.
-Anonymous

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
-Ann Landers

If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went
-Will Rogers


There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
-Ben Williams


A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
-Josh Billings

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
-Andy Rooney

We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare.
And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made.
-M. Acklam


Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people,
who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate.
-Sigmund Freud

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
-Rita Rudner

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
-Robert Benchley

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.
-Franklin P. Jones

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.
-James Thurber

If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise
-Unknown

My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That's almost $21.00 in dog money!
-Joe Weinstein

Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come from a grocery with the most amazing haul, chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!
-Anne Tyler

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
-Robert A. Heinlein

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
-Mark Twain

You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says,
'Wow, you're right! I never would've thought of that!'
- Dave Barry

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.
-Roger Caras

If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two of them.
-Phil Pastoret

FarCry Screen Shots

FarCry is a first-person shooter by Ubisoft. It's been out for a few years but has some pretty sweet graphics. I was about to finish it and ended up formatting my computer. I guess I should have backed up my game files. Here are some screen shots, again at different video levels. The later shots should be better quality: