Fast Food Franchise Owners

I used to work for a fast food franchise somewhere in a college town in Northern Utah. I really don't want to say what the company is or who the owner is because the people that read this blog on a regular basis will know who I'm talking about anyway.

One of the benefits (downsides) to having kids is that you get to watch lots of cartoons. Mr. G's (the son I named and older version of this blog after) favorite cartoon is "Spongebob Square Pants". Spongebob's boss is Mr. Eugene Krabs. Mr. Krabs favorite expressions are, "I like money." and "The money is always right." If Mr. Krabs were being shot at and his daughter was on one side of the room and a penny were on the other side of the room. He would risk his life to save the penny first and his daughter second. In the Spongebob movie, Mr. Krabs sees King Neptune coming to his restaurant and marks up his sandwiches to the $100 range.

The owner of the fast food franchise where I worked found out that another franchise for the same chain was charging more for their fries. Instead of using the opportunity to advertise that his price was lower, he used to opportunity to raise the price on his own fries. He required all of us to charge .10 cents for any extra items that didn't already come on the sandwich. For example, one sandwich didn't come with pickles, but a customer asked for pickles. I tried to charge the customer an extra 10 cents as I had been instructed and got into an argument with the customer. Instead of defending me, the owner told the customer what a S.O.B. I was and refunded his .10 cents. Part of the owner's franchise agreement with the chain was that his employees were required to give out two packets of free condiments with every sandwich sold. He found out how much this was costing him and told us only to give them out if the customers asked for them. How many times have you gone to a fast food place and forgot to ask for the ketchup? Some of these places are exactly the same, they don't give it out unless you ask. Customers get in the habit of the condiments being placed in the bag without having to ask. When a cheapskate owner decides that he's going to save money by cutting back on the condiments all it does is make customers angry and not want to come back.

Anyway, in honor of my former employer, I have used The Gimp to draw his likeness and post it on this blog and am declaring January 30 cheapskate franchise owner day. I used to also work in the hospitality industry and hotel franchise owners are a bunch of cheapskates too. (Okay, not all of them, just most.) Today is the day where you get to tell your kids that you're too cheap to buy a 10 pack of pencils but instead cut one pencil into 10 pieces for your kids to share. The kid that makes the most mistakes gets the eraser. Instead of throwing away that bottle of ketchup that has less than a teaspoon of ketchup left, put a little water in it and shake it up. You can do this 3 or 4 times before you have to throw the bottle away. Instead of buying a fancy gourmet pizza, go to the store and by a 91 cent Tostinos pizza and put your favorite vegetables on top of it; may I suggest the Danish blue cheese and frozen peas as toppings? It's out of this world. Instead of throwing away that bottle of maple syrup that the ants got into, tell your kids that there are two kinds of syrup in this world: creamy and crunchy. Instead of buying your kid his favorite comic book, buy him a ream of printer paper and a Bic fountain pen with the black, red, green, and blue ink and tell him to draw his own comics.

Yay, yay, yay, it's International Cheapskate Day. Sing it high, sing it loud, sing it low, sing it proud! It's International Cheapskate Day. We love you L.W.!!!